Never Go Back

You can never go back
Or take back tha words
Erase tha things you said and did
Tha damage is done
You words they cut like tha knife I pulled
It fukd u up
That much is tru

I played tha fool
Played with ur heart
You said it from tha start
But I didn't see it that way
All it took was one day
To kill everything u felt
All that you were hiding inside
I lost it all
And still you tried
To give me ur all
But something wouldn't work
Somethin wouldn't let us work

Maybe its not our time
Timing is everythin
Cause there's no doubt in my heart
You're tha one for me
I pray that in time we'll be
What you dream of
And that i wear ya ring
Share ya name
Nothing will ever be tha same
I will never be that again

You tought me so much
Gave me so much
So much of yourself and energy
Time you can't get back
I jus want you back
Layin next to me
Layin on me

I'm sorry I was tha one
To bring hurt upon you
Never ment to do anything to you
Now alone I sit
And slowly tha tears fall
Memories of you throughout this place
Your towel, your toothbrush, tha cup you left next to tha bed
Pieces of you all around me
I don't jus want pieces I want all of you
Sorry I caused you pain
And betrayed your trust
I really do want it to be jus us
I didn't even get a kiss good bye...

Is Fidelity A Thing Of The Past?

     It almost never starts off with bad intentions. Something as simple as a good conversation with a co-worker can amazingly lead to something that is not so innocent. A few talks at work while on your break and the next thing you know you've exchanged numbers and it goes from there. A few phone calls  here and there, a lot of text messages. The next thing you know a group of co-workers are all going out to a bar one Friday night. It's just co-workers out together having a good time right? Well, at least that's how it started, now Lisa  and Chris are at the table doing a bit more flirting than they should. His hand is on her leg and she is giggling and twirling her hair. It would be all  fun and good times only Lisa has a boyfriend...

     The year is 2010 and it seems as if we have reached a point where staying true to our partner is becoming a dream or a fantasy. A  number of celebrities have fallen victim to this cheating frenzy, however they are not the only ones that take the bait in this type of situation. What is the reason people cheat? Is it a sexual thing, the need for a more spontaneous sex life? Maybe its that you are no longer attracted to your partner like you once were. Maybe they are not paying you as much attention as you would like. But is that really a good reason to break the commitment that you have to one another? People tend to think that in a relationship your partner should meet all of your physical and emotional needs and when they don't it creates a reason to step outside of that relationship and look to others to feel the void. 

     The opportunity for cheating gets greater with the use of alcohol. The access is also a lot easier with it being literally at your fingertips. Sites such as Twitter, Facebook or even Myspace make it to where a person can pursuit a stranger or even someone they know by simply opening their laptop and logging on. These sites that were originally intended for networking purposes are now ALSO commonly used as a dating tool. It is a lot easier to TYPE a flirty comment and approach the opposite sex in that way. The rejection factor is still there however, the fact that you don't have to see the look the person they give when they reject you helps. They can not see the look of hurt and embarrassment on your face as they shoot you down, on line you are able to save face. People tend to have tons of courage when they are typing on the keyboard and rarely if ever see you face to face.

     You're an attractive male. You've got nice pictures of yourself up and you get approached constantly by females. Before you know it your inbox has 80 messages from women who are sending you their pussy via email. They send you phone numbers, naked pictures you name it. The opportunity is there and its so tempting but you are not a single man so what do you do? Especially when it is so easy to do the EASY thing, which is the wrong thing. The more opportunity you create the greater your risk for cheating becomes.

     To me if you are going to cheat there is no point in being in a relationship. At least not a committed one. It breaks trust and it diminishes you as a person. If you're gonna step outside or your relationship break it off. Be single, that way you can screw whoever you want cause u have no commitment (if that's what you want to do). Your word means a lot. If you agree to a monogamous relationship then be prepared to only be with that one person in ways more than one. It's not ok to cheat, so don't act like it is. Have more respect for you and the person that you are with.

I AM NIKI DIVA

     They see my name, they've  heard my voice but they really don't know who Niki Diva is. You may never truly know. but i figure I'd give you tha view from my angle. I am a 23 year old  energetic, silly, giving, smart mouth, outspoken ARTIST. I sing, i write, i model, I SPEAK what's on my mind. Florida born but Atlanta raised, I am Florida's sunshine and Georgia's peach! My singing style is not of the regular R&b. I have a very versatile style which includes a bit of pop, a bit of rap and a bit more of rock.


      I am not afraid to step outside of the box and set my own trends. If i like it, I rock it! I am a pretty woman but I am not boujie or stuck up. I know what I want and I'm not afraid to go after it. I LOVE food, its the best part of the day! I like to talk on the phone , I like to text, sleep is relaxing. The cold makes me sleepy, I like scary movies, I like to write. I am much more than a pretty face! I am intelligent, passionate and extremely hard working. I am currently working on a novel as well as a book of poems. I want to start my own foundation for Sickle Cell Anemia. There is so much that I want to do. There is even more that I have the potential to do. My skills vary and I want to do it all.  I have been featured in online editorials, poetry websites, music videos, hip- hop songs and there is much more to come. Add my facebook, follow my twitter, add my you tube channel check out my Model Mayhem profile as well as my profile on my management site.

http://www.facebook.com/NikiDiva

http://www.twitter.com/Niki_Diva

http://www.modelmayhem.com/nikitaLadams

http://www.youtube.com/NikiThaDiva

WORDS NOT SAID

 words not said... you will soon see. 
read my words and you will understand me. 
for the sun rises and the sun sets, 
but a broken heart never forgets 
what its been through 
and what it wants to do.


 

cause of words not said 
i lie alone n bed 
and sometimes cry 
and often wonder why 
things are the way they are 
and if i wished upon a shooting star 
would my love take me far? 

is it because of words not said 
that i'm here 
and you're there 
and we can't mesh our lives 
and love together 
live together? 

it's because of words no said 
that things still hurt 
kinda feels like you've 
pushed me in the dirt 
a love like this will always hurt. 

it's because of words not said 
that i still feel so strong 
a feeling like this can't be wrong 
my love for you is like a candel 
it burns on and on 

and words not said 
there still is more 
but i have no more time 
cause you've gone out my door 

Individuality

     Everyone has a hero or someone that inspires them, right? Okay, so that person becomes someone that you look up to and strive to be like but with your own little twist, right? I ask because everyday I see so many "copy cat" people. This is regular people, newly famous, and up and coming stars.  It seems as if very few people have their own identity any more. You see something that someone else does and it get them attention, it works for them. That doesn't mean it will work for you.


      I feel as if our society has become lazy and doesn't want to take the time out to search inside of themselves to figure out who they really are. Young people are captured by the glitz and the glamor and think "hey, it works for this person so maybe it will work for me as well".  Another common thing is an attention whore. Those who strive to get attention in any way. Usually they do to much for this attention and become someone people are annoyed with. In Atlanta it is a very common thing for people to tell you they are a rapper or a model. Because 4 out of your 7 friends rap or model doesn't mean that's what you should do. BE YOURSELF! Individuality is sexy. Be the next you, don't be a carbon copy of someone else.


     I could go on and on, almost everything can be copied. The fact that you have a friend that always goes out, stays with the newest designer bags, keep her nails done, hair done, keeps up with a certain group of people etc. It's things that you never did before or had no interest in doing. Now that you see it works for someone you want to try it. Know that you can only be you. You are the best you, that is what you do best. Following behind someone else and living in their shadows shows insecurity. Insecurity is NOT attractive. Be yourself, and do what works for you.

Sometimes It's Not Enough

 Sometimes it's not enough to tell someone you love them. 
To place your faith in them and to do for them like you would like them to do for you. 

    Sometimes it's not enough to just be yourself,
 because being yourself doesn't always get us where or what we want. 
   
 Sometimes it's not enough to just ignore all the signs of destruction,
 when they are constantly being thrown in your face.
     
 Sometimes it's not enough to just walk away
 when the things that you're walking away from is following close behind.
    
  Maybe it's not enough to acknowledge what you see. 
Most of the time you're in denial and that THEY can see. 
   
 Maybe it's not enough to be constantly reminded of how great you are.
 And how thankful I am that you're a part of my life.
   
 Maybe it's not enough to not only have your back, 
but also walk beside you facing all that you face.


    Maybe it's not enough to tell you how I feel 
and be completely real.
  
                 Sometimes love is just not enough.

The Difference

I wanted to know if people really know tha difference between begin in love and loving somebody. I know the difference, but perhaps that's due to personal experience. I have found that many people do not know the difference between the two. Nowadays LOVE is us a word that is tossed around, like its nothing. Our generation has been deemed a lazy generation. Our graduation rate is not at its highest.
    How does one learn the difference between being in love and loving someone? I would guess tha same way we learn anything else, by someone teaching us. Strange though , because from what I've seen the people who have never been in love can't explain the difference. Kinda like this is one of those things that is only learned through experience.




    Love is a very powerful, and sometimes extremely dangerous emotion. Loving someone is unconditional. When u love someone you are taking that person for what they do, no matter what they look like or what they are. It is an extreme level of care, to if something were to happen to that person you would be very hurt. Loving someone you care for their well being but won't necessarily place their needs and wants above your own. It is a deeper care than of just a regular person that you met at the gas station. You value what the people you love say. You will do a lot for the people you love. It is however conditional.
    When you are in love its like the world stops. You will let nothing distract you from that person. You often place their needs and wants above your own. The person you are in love with is held at a higher value than the other people in your life. Being in love can turn you into a very selfish person. You want to be around that person all the time. You want them to dedicate most of their time to you. You feel so strongly for them that you want them all to your self. Its painful to see them interact with the opposite sex in such an intimate manner. Being in love touches all of ones emotions. Can make you blind and cause you to put up with things that you would not normally.
    Love is forever. You may fall out of love with a person but you will always love that person. Will always have a general care for them.  A person will generally do more for a person they are in love with versus a person they just love. Being in love and loving someone is two totally different things. You told me you love me... But by which definition?